Zach Harmon, Senior Production Manager at Epidemic Sound and leader of Queer Epidemic, the ERG (employee resource group) for the LGBTQIA+ community at Epidemic Sound sits down with Riley Coleman, Director of Central Design at Epidemic Sound to talk about their journey from Australia to Europe, coming out as non-binary at Epidemic Sound and how letting people be themselves will bring the best out of them. Riley is based in Amsterdam and lives on a houseboat.  

The journey from Australia to Europe and Epidemic Sound 

Zach: You’re from Australia, how did you end up in Amsterdam and working for Epidemic Sound?

Riley: I started as a Director of Design Operations where I managed a team of specialists working within product design. We’ve now gone through various iterations of what this team and scope should look like and now my scope includes UX research and XD Labs which includes system design (PDS, Content Systems) as well as central design projects. My research team goes out there and interviews customers, partners and artists so we can make better decisions internally about what we should deliver to our communities. So it’s important to us to get the most diverse voices as that will give us the best solutions. 

Coming out as non-binary and a new name

Zach: We met this time last year at Queer Epidemic Summit, a safe space for LGBTQIA+ employees to be free in their identities at work and connect with one another. In this summit you shared with us that you would be updating your pronouns in the workplace and transitioning to a new name. What made you feel that this was the time to do this?

Riley: The funny thing is, I never thought I would come out for the second time in my life. The first time I came out as gay was when I was in the army and I hadn’t even kissed a girl at that point. I tend to do things in a strange way. 

I’m definitely more on the masculine side of non-binary but I do still feel the balance of my feminine energy, which was something I was fighting for a while and then finally I started to accept it. Rather than transitioning myself into male, I realized that I was somewhere in the middle. 

Now being in my 40s and having been around people who had gone through this experience and also accepting who I really am, I came out for the second time. 

Zach: How was your experience coming out at Epidemic Sound?

Riley: Honestly, it was the least of my worries coming out at work. It was a really unique and valuable experience and I had no concerns about discrimination, or that I wouldn't be accepted given the work that Epidemic has done to create a safe space for minorities and the importance of mental health. 

Actually, beginning of last year, I was at the lowest point of my life. I was suffering from very bad depression and finally was ready to tackle it head on and do the work to rebuild and nourish myself in a way that I’ve not done before. During this time, Epidemic Sound was such a safe space for me to do this work as well as having the opportunity to be back in Amsterdam. 

When I was coming out, I had my direct manager, HR and Queer Epidemic and many other teams supporting me through every step. Whether that was logistical things such as changing my name on Slack, to communicating to the company about my transition and most importantly making sure I had people to talk to. 

Now that I’ve gone through the experience, I can say that I am very lucky and I really recognise the fact that I had a good experience coming out in the workplace that many others have not been privileged to.

Being your true self to be your best self 

Zach: What’s been different about you in the workplace since coming out?

Riley: I’ve done a lot of internal work before, during and after my transition. I’ve noticed that no one at work treats me differently, which is amazing, however,  a change that I have noticed in myself is that I am a lot less intense as I’m not trying to carry myself in a specific way or respond in a way that is expected. I now sit in the middle and can pull from both my feminine and my masculine energy which makes me feel more like myself. 

Zach: Now that you've gone through the experience and seen the benefits it has for you, how has it shaped you as a leader? 

Riley: I always believe my role as a leader is to create the safest place I can so that my team can bring their best selves to work. If someone does not feel safe enough at work, they will be less willing to take risks that could potentially block them from their next best idea. I want to create a space where team members try and test things. Let’s give it a crack and if it doesn't work,  we’ll try something else and that might be an even better idea. 

Communication with your team members is also so important. When I had some low moments at work, my direct manager at the time said this: ‘You are valued, even if you don’t feel 100%, you are valued’.  

Zach: If you could give one piece of advice to someone who is struggling with bringing their true self to work, what would you say?

Riley: We spend so many hours of our lives at work. It’s important that you find a place that best suits you. Find somewhere that values you and what you bring to the table. When being in interview processes, you should be interviewing the company as much as they are interviewing you. I've worked in many different environments over several decades, and I deliberately made choices about who not to work for, which is why I am where I am now.

Zach: Many LGBTQIA+ people have learned to suppress themselves through years of negative reinforcement. Even in the safest spaces, they can feel like they don’t belong or that they don’t bring the same value to an organization as their peers. Do you have any tips for overcoming this? 

Riley: Internalized self-doubt is one of those golden gifts [sarcasm!] the world gives to LGBTQIA+ people, and any minority person in this world really. I’ve invested a lot in my mental and physical health, including therapy and meditation. I think the first step is making sure you’re doing everything you can to take care of yourself mentally and physically. Find what works for you.

Listen to what’s going on in your head. That negative voice in your head is often the default voice. That voice may never go away ,but you can add some positive voices and layers to the mix. 

When you have a negative thought, voice it to someone who can be supportive, whether that’s a friend, a close colleague or ally who can reason with you and point out that you’re wrong about yourself with examples of how great you actually are. When you realize that working on yourself is a constant, it gets easier and less overwhelming. There are good days, there are bad days, but putting the work in and practicing healthy thinking improves the daily outlook you have on yourself.